"In the night...the scream of the rabbit is terrible. But the scream of the owl which is not of pain and hopelessness and fear of being plucked out the world, but of the sheer rollicking glory of the death-bringer, is more terrible still. When I hear it resounding through the woods, and then the five black pellets of its song dropping like stones into the air, I know I am standing on the edge of the mystery, in which terror is naturally and abundantly part of life, part of even the most becalmed, intelligent, sunny life--as for example, my own. The world where the owl is endlessly hungry and endlessly on the hunt is the world in which I live, too. There is only one world."
Mary Oliver, Blue Pastures

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Bud's Last Ride

On Monday I put a handful of dog treats in my pocket and loaded the ol' Bud into the car for his last trip to the Clarks Grove Veterinary Clinic. The Budster was completely deaf, partially blind and eventually he was likely suffering from canine dementia. He could be a joy and he could be a pain in the ass, but he did the best he could. As he aged he slept most of the time, when awake was really only interested in when the next meal was. 

Do dogs have ghosts? It has only been a couple of days; his presence is quite strong. When I get up from my chair I look down to make certain I don't step on him sleeping at my feet, when I come in the door I still glance where his kennel was - just checking on him. When we were in the kitchen Bud was always there, ever hoping for clumsy fingers. Now I catch myself stepping over nothing. Last night I started to set an unlicked yogurt bowl on the floor, one of the things that Bud was really good at - prewashing dishes. 
















Was Bud a great dog? No, probably not, but he was our dog. He was our dog for 15 years.

And he will be our last dog.

10 comments:

Mimbres Man said...

Good post.

Annie Mattson said...

I'm so sad reading this. Gunnar, you wrote a lovely tribute to Buddy. I really feel that our pets never completely leave us, or we them...
And I do think he's romping around in a far better place, and that our pets will be with us again...

Jonny Hamachi said...

Damn G.

You got me.

Rest Easy Bud

Anonymous said...

Our condolences. We thhought he was pretty awesone. gosh you can write, beautiful wotds.
<3Athena

Gunnar Berg said...

Thank you all.

BullishOnRhubarb said...

Sweet. I occasionally have flashbacks/feel the presence of my old dog, Gumbo, who had her last meal of a McDonald cheeseburger with pickles 25 years ago. Old dogs don't fade away, they just stop eating your food and pooping in your yard.

Masini said...

Oh no! It's the worst pain I've yet to feel (really). Daisy is now 2 years older than Tucker when he left us. Can't bear to think of that pain again...

So sorry for you guys. He had a nice run, I'm sure. 15 years of happiness and love.

eric said...

Bud was lucky to have you and you him. RIP Bud...

Johann Rissik said...

The end of another era. Sorry to hear that.

QuoinMonkey said...

So sorry for your loss. I recently lost a cat that was with us for 16 years. Yes, they have ghosts. I believe...