MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)
– In a move that took many political observers by surprise, the Democratic National Committee decided today to move its 2012 nominating convention to the Minneapolis Metrodome.
Insiders questioned the wisdom of choosing a venue which collapsed over the weekend, but Obama political adviser David Axelrod told reporters, “Quite frankly, we can’t think of a more appropriate site.”
Giving reporters a tour of the Metrodome facility, Mr. Axelrod said, “The Metrodome has taken a lot of hard knocks in the press, just like the Democrats have. But you can’t believe everything that you read. We’re a lot stronger and a lot tougher than you might –“
Before he could complete his sentence, Mr. Axelrod was felled by a chunk of the Metrodome’s ceiling and rushed to the Mayo Clinic.
Resting comfortably, Mr. Axelrod said he still thought the Metrodome was an appropriate venue for the Democrats, but added, “We’re also looking into some Carnival Cruise ships.”
In other political news, Christine O’Donnell said she is so excited that the national health care plan was found unconstitutional, “it almost makes me want to read the Constitution.”