Monday, May 16, 2011

A Pre-Announcement Announcement

In the past I have generally tried to avoid politics on this blog, both because we get enough of that mainstream press jibber-jabber already and also because in the past my political leanings have not always been honorable. Today all that will change. I have seen my error of my ways and I will admit to them. I'm turning over a new leaf for the future of our children and for the future of America. For months now a number of close advisers have been encouraging me to throw my hat, a silver-belly Stetson Moose River, into the ring. The announcements today from both Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee, that neither will be running, suddenly leaves a vacuum on the right, particularly the religious right. Now there are those among you who would say that I am not a religious man. This may have been true in the past, but I have seen the light. I have been re-born. I asked myself, "How would Jesus vote?" Today I have been reborn a Christian Conservative Free-Market Republican! So I am announcing that shortly I will be forming an exploratory committee to test the political waters and will then be making further announcements on my future political plans. Might I say right here for the record, that both sides of my family came from Iowa and I still consider myself to be a native of that fine state. God bless you all, God bless the Republican Party, God bless the National Rifle Association, and God bless America. Thank you.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

can you get someone cute for a running mate? I mean, really cute, not just Alaska cute.

thanks,
mw

Anonymous said...

I mean, ya know, every time we see a Tea Partier with lipstick, it's like, yeah, but can she bake? Can she shoot? Can she chair a subcommittee?

mw

Oldfool said...

It will not matter after 6 pm next Saturday. I intend to have a nice bottle of wine done or nearly done at that time.
If this end of the world thing doesn't go as planned try to get someone pretty that doesn't talk much. It will make her or him as the case may be, appear smart, which is a level above what I have seen lately.

Silk Hope said...

I just registered Democrat.

Gunnar Berg said...

mw,
Careful, since my epiphany these are my people, the salt of the earth.

Gunnar Berg said...

Mr. Hope.
That would seem to be a knee-jerk, reactionary decision. Get behind me, you will find The New Gunnar is a man of vision.

Mimbres Man said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY&feature=related

Gunnar Berg said...

Oh yes,
The End of the World As We Know It!
My new campaign song.

Silk Hope said...

Snake oil salesman, Flim Flam man.

Chrisbee said...

Did the silver-tongued Jesus carry a weapon? Did any of his gang of nefarious rebels?

Is there a sub-clause in the bible which offers a plea bargain for damaging the commandments every time you discharge your weapon?

Which side did Jesus dress in politics?

Far more importantly: Did He feel the need to wear such a hat under God's own sun? ;-)

Anonymous said...

well, I'd say Chrisbee hits the nail on the head, now don't he, Mr. Salt of the Earth. How do you reconcile the headgear with that whole Jesus thang?

mw

Oldfool said...

You will have to release your long form financial statement you know.
That's a slippery slope that leads to revealing where your great great grandfather is from and whether he believed in the easter bunny or not.I believe you have a promising future as a front for whomever thinks they can profit from you. All you have to do is promise two chickens in every garage and a an automobile in every garage or something like that.

Anonymous said...

Gunnar, this is not to be taken harshly or anything, but in my opinion your entire campaign is nothing but a half-baked failure. Time to think of your loved ones, and issue a Pre-Announcement Announcement Cancellation."
Your friend,
mw

Oldfool said...

I meant "automobile in every pot or something like that" I think.

Anonymous said...

See you in Hell.

best,

Rick M.

Gunnar Berg said...

At least wait to hear my foreign policy.

Gunnar Berg said...

A thought - Jesus told Mike Huckabee to stay at FOX.

Anonymous said...

Look, we all know you can see Canada from up there. No one cares! Where's your talk show! How many housekeepers have you impregnated with your Devil Seed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your friend,
mw

Gunnar Berg said...

Canada is 400 miles away, but I can almost see Iowa. I love Iowa. I love it's miles and miles of nothing but cornfields and God-fearing small towns. It is my favorite state. Some of my best friends and relatives are Iowegian.

I do some issues with my standing on aggressive virility. Right now I am the primary housekeeper, but in the past I did impregnate one housekeeper, but it was only after being married to her for 16 years. She in turn sleeps with the gardener, which has some potential as a ginned up issue.

Oldfool said...

Iowa makes me fat.

Anonymous said...

My 17 year-old son Aidan may well soon become one of those Iowegians you talk about. He is growing increasingly intent on attending Iowa State to study aerospace engineering. Nice school and campus, great program, and he loved the Ames and Des Moines area. They were all over him during his visit, like they'd never seen a a Boston Irish kid before. I tried to tell them; Aidan is a New Englander by birth, but a Midwesterner by inclination.

best,

Rick M.

Gunnar Berg said...

I am always amazed at what difference a state border, a line on the map, can become over the years. There is a political and social shift when you cross the line between Minnesota and Iowa. Like many college towns, Ames is an outpost - like Austin in Texas, or apparently Madison in Wisconsin.

Gunnar Berg said...

Fool,
You are not required to eat ALL of it.

Silk Hope said...

Mr.Old Fool:

If there is a car in every garage they must be bought from Gabus Automotive.

Since I am now a Democrat I now an offical looter.

Mr. Hope

Silk Hope said...

Pardon my English. I am from California where Spanish is the first language.

Vaya con dios Amigos,

Senor Hope.

Tom G. said...

If you need someone to run your Iowa Campaign headquarters, let me know.

And by "run your Iowa Campaign Headquarters" I mean, "sit in a rocker, eat Maid Rites, drink Bourbon, and make fun of the candidates."

Gunnar Berg said...

You got it.

Gunnar Berg said...

In it's downsizing, Starbucks closed it's local shop here(Caribou rules!). There were persistent rumors that Maid Rite would be returning to town and going into the empty space. It proved to be false, I assume because the space was not down to Maid Rite standards.

Silk Hope said...

Damn Maid Rites. Will they survive shipping to Cali!!!

Mr. Hope

Anonymous said...

This is it? This is what's on the mind of the next Ruler of the Free World? Maidrites? Or should we call you the Great Pretender?

But at least you're not talking about Blaze Foley yet, that'll go over real big on the campaign trail.

your pal,

mw

Silk Hope said...

My vote goes to Tom G @ 20 Prospect to be your Campaign Manager. He is a much higher thinker than any of us.

Mr. Hope

Gunnar Berg said...

And he works for Maid Rites and whiskey.