Skin Games

I have really gross brown lumpy blotches on my face the size of nickels, paying the price for 100s of hours on a old Massey Harris tractor without a wearing hat I guess. They are a bitch to shave over and around. It does slow down my shaving. Family members pressured me to have them examined. I was certain they would have to remove half my face. Of course at this point in my life I don't really care; all vanity is long gone. I had a cute petite young Mayo doctor, who could have been my granddaughter. She treated me with proper respect - particularly after seeing my blood pressure. It was 124 / 64., good for 65. Fat though I may be, all that selective eating, beer drinking and bike riding has not been wasted. The ugly brown blotches on my face turned out to be actinic keratoses, glorified extreme liver spots, not cancer. They can freeze, scrap and laser my face and make it less repulsive. I remember seeing the old farmers in the church in Clarks Grove when I was growing up and pitying them for their beat up, weathered faces. phhuuwett! As a porcelain faced punk what did I know?! My spots continue to slowly expand and maybe at some point I'll have to deal with them. Unsightly though they may be, at least for now I'm wearing them as badges, awards , even rewards for living a full life. I'm good to go for another year.

Aside: You know how you see the old guys who quit getting haircuts and shaving? Moi'. Except I shave. But I do it for me, 'cause it itches, not for you! I tell myself the hair, the mustache and goatee, look European and sophisticated. But I know it doesn't. It looks like a homeless shag mullet. And it pleases me just a little every morning when I look in the mirror.