Friday, September 10, 2010

Pearls Cut and Pasted

The following caught my eye because when I was in high school and still had a somewhat quirky sense of humor, I circulated a Moosylvania annexation petition, which came in a Cheerios box, around the school. The petition ultimately failed, but not due to a lack of effort on my part. For you folks under 40, welcome to the olden days, where cartoons weren't 3D, weren't selling anything, and only the mouths moved. They had to be verbally funny because they couldn't afford special effects.

"According to the storyline "Moosylvania" was the "wettest, soggiest, dreariest place on Earth (you forgot useless). Situated directly between the United States and Canada 75 miles from International falls, Moosylvania had the distinction of being constantly fought over by both countries. The United States insisted it was a part of Canada, and Canada insisted it was a part of the United States." Moosylvania was the vacation spot of Bullwinkle the Moose and his friend Rocky, the flying squirrel. Bullwinkle was governor of Moosylvania. It's official sport is Farkling. Once, Rocky asked Bullwinkle why he always vacationed in Moosylvania? He responded "After two weeks in Moosylvania, any place else in the world seems like heaven." When Boris Badenov, a nefarious Pottsylvanian spy learned he had an assignment in Mooseylvania, he begged his Fearless Leader to reconsider. "Send me to Siberia, Wilkes-Barre but NOT Moosylvania!" Moosylvania was featured in the four episodes, "Moosylvania" in which Boris runs a contest and Bullwinkle wins a set of Encyclopedia Badenov, rigged to explode when opened to "Moosylvania"; and the four episodes, "Moosylvania Saved" when the stolen treasury of Pottsylvania surfaces in Moosylvania, and spy Boris Badenov turns it into the world's most popular disaster area. Jay Ward, the creator of the Rocky & Bullwinkle characters, bought a real island on Lake of the Woods in northern Minnesota and named it Moosylvania. Then, in an attempt to have his island adopted for statehood, Jay Ward and friend, Howard Brandy drove across the country in a Ford Econoline van equipped with circus Calliope music. They visited over fifty cities and gathered signatures from fans in support of his project. Unfortunately, their idea for statehood was soon scuttled upon their arrival in Washington, D.C. For you see, as they jokingly approached the gates of the White House to gain support for their statehood idea, they were unaware that they had arrived on the same day as the Cuban Missile Crisis. Oh well, the best laid plans of Moose and Men."


Mimbres Man said...

Always have been a fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle. I even liked that sucky movie from the 90s (it has its moments). When I was a kid, I'd rather stay home and watch "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" than go to Sunday school...still would.

Margadant said...

I remember your valiant effort with the petition. About 7-8 years ago, cleaning out a trunk, I ran across my copy of the petition and the slick color brouchure that touted the glories of Moosylvania. The section describing "farkling" still caused me to break up. As I recall it was sort of a cross between football, lacrosse, and ice hockey -- embracing the most violent and stupid aspects of all three sports.

I put the treasures away, meaning to one day impress my sons with the genius of Jay Ward, but managed only to have misplaced them when it came time to educate the boys. Maybe if I can find that old trunk . . .

At any rate, thanks for the memories.