Thursday, September 30, 2010

Raccoons!

My heart is still beating fast as I write this. I was sitting in my high back comfy chair, feet up, working on a cheap Malbec, switching between the Twins/Seattle game and re-runs of Two and a Half Men (the game isn't going too well). Outside, behind me I heard the clunking and scraping of critters getting into the bird feeders. I flicked on the outside lights and saw a couple of fat raccoons set on getting even fatter at my expensive. I'm a little hesitant to sic the pug on two raccoons. They're big and he ain't too bright. The coons and I have met in past years and we all know the drill. The deck is 8' or 10' above the ground so there is a sturdy railing around it that the raccoons can't get through. They hang on the feeders and ignore me as long as possible, then drop down to the deck and make a jailbreak for the steps. Tonight I managed to cut them off and get one big furry humper isolated on the narrow 12' long section that leads off the main deck to the bedroom door. He ran the length of it, realized there wasn't an exit and turned back ... back on me! In panic speed he came directly at me. He was trapped and scared, but so was I. There was no place for me to get out of the way. In half panic I side-stepped and flail kicked at him as he went by me. I felt a satisfying 'whump!'. I actually made solid contact with him! My Birkenstock hit him square, and he kind of rolled by me, regained his footing and clawed his way down the steps. Scared the bejeezus out of me. Scared him too, but he'll be back tomorrow. If not later tonight when I'm trying to sleep.

7 comments:

Jonny Hamachi said...

Sounds like a draw.

Gunnar Berg said...

They've already returned.

Silk Hope said...

I'll trade you one Coyote for a raccoon. They are our cat killers. They walk down street right by the front door at the dead of night.

Gunnar Berg said...

We have coyotes too, but at this point they are a rural issue.
I do not have any issue with cats being killed. And I'm not being facetious.

reverend dick said...

You need a slingshot, Sirrah.

Anonymous said...

that was like Moby Dick lite. mw

Gunnar Berg said...

mw,
Nice. I've read Moby Dick. I'd rather have raccoons. Or read about them. The raccoon symbolizes man's struggle against ... ah ... suet. Or is it death? Naw. Suet.