Oakwood owl counting
pilgrims at the Stryx end gate,
"Whooo passes this night?"

Monday, June 21, 2010

Naniboujou Parking Lot

There was a British sportscar rally in Thunder Bay over the weekend and the roads were populated by MG-TCs, Triumphs and Healys moving north ... rather the road shoulders and flatbed trucks were. Group failure at inopportune times and places. I saw a matched set of cream TCs that would be worth the probability of misfortune. His and Her MGs!

I talked to the feet of the guy underneath the Lotus Europa for a while (one fine automobile). He was hoping it would make it to Thunder Bay. He said he's been fighting to keep British sportscars running for 30 years and is just about fed up and ready to move on. I sympathized with him, as I too had gone down that dark road (that's a joke, guys) with an Austin-Healy. You really have to have suffered through this to appreciate it, but I give you,
Joseph Lucas, Prince of Darkness
  • A Land Rover doesn´t leak oil, it marks it´s territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it backand worked on it until it did.
  • Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"
  • The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
  • Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
  • Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
  • Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
  • The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
  • The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
  • Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.
  • Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
  • "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
  • If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
  • Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
  • Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
  • Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
  • Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."
Tomorrow: Where we stayed, trail and lake pictures, and lots of wooden boats!


jusvelos said...

good read gunnar

Echelon 133 said...

The Italian Cousin to Lucas... Veglia which was is my Fiat 124 Sp coupe. Beautiful car very dark at night.

Gunnar Berg said...

By the time I married I had moved up to Italian autos. We had a Fiat 124 Pinafarina Sport Spider and an old '56 Alfa Romero Giulietta Sprint coupe with a newer TI engine set up hot. Those were an electrician adventure too. Wish I still had the Alfa. After I sold it I found out he just wanted the engine. :-(

Jonny Hamachi said...

At some point this summer I have to unwrap the MGB and continue the brawl. Front carb took a dump while I was on the Bay Bridge in thick traffic.

I was stalled out in the right hand lane (hazards weren't working) talking to CHP messaging machines when I started cranking the starter to turn the tranny to push me forward.

After about 40 feet of that I caught the down slope, reached 35 mph, cranked around the giant cloverleaf exit, went through three green lights (the last one a shade yellow) and into a parking spot.

The next week I bought a 93 Toyota pick up. The smallest model I could find. 265,000 miles, 24 mpg, and just passed CA Smog again! Perfect commuter.

Gunnar Berg said...

A Toyota pickup with 250,000 miles on it is more reliable and probably has more life left than a new MG. But that's not the point.

Echelon 133 said...


Forgot one thing... S.U. carburation with dip sticks! Only the English could invent such a Disaster.

Maybe I am aging myself. I acutally know how to tune those SOB's up. Can you say Weber.


Gunnar Berg said...

Twin DCOE.

Doohickie said...

My neighbor across the street has an Austin Healey just like the one in your first pic... except in red.

Gunnar Berg said...

I singled out the green Austin-Healey 3000 because in the flesh the paint, chrome and upholstery were beautiful. Perfect. Way better than showroom new. And it was being driven to the show, not trailered. Yay.

Anonymous said...

funny post...reminded me of my Dad's struggles rebuilding his mk4 Triumph Spitfire. A fun little car, once you've replaced the wiring harness....and get to know the carbs... and throw the shifter just so....and sync the trans with the engine just so....and ....oh hell, it looks nice anyway! ;)