I talked to the feet of the guy underneath the Lotus Europa for a while (one fine automobile). He was hoping it would make it to Thunder Bay. He said he's been fighting to keep British sportscars running for 30 years and is just about fed up and ready to move on. I sympathized with him, as I too had gone down that dark road (that's a joke, guys) with an Austin-Healy. You really have to have suffered through this to appreciate it, but I give you,
Joseph Lucas, Prince of Darkness
- A Land Rover doesn´t leak oil, it marks it´s territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it backand worked on it until it did.
- Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"
- The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
- Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
- Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
- Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
- The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
- The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
- Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.
- Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
- "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
- If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
- Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
- Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
- Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
- Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."