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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Ms Bachmann (R-Minn)

ARIZONA (The Borowitz Report) – In a fledgling campaign that has already produced more than its share of gaffes, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) today confused her ass with a hole in the ground during a campaign swing through Arizona.
Speaking to a group of supporters in Phoenix, Rep. Bachmann raised eyebrows when she said, “It’s great to be here in Arizona, the home of my ass.”
After her comment was greeted with confused murmurs from the crowd, Rep. Bachmann quickly added, “Oh wait, did I say my ass?  I meant the Grand Canyon.”
Being unable to tell her ass from a hole in the ground, especially a prominent one such as the Grand Canyon, is only one of many challenges facing Rep. Bachmann in her quest for the Presidency, according to political science professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota.
“Michele Bachmann is a staunch believer in the theory of Intelligent Design,” he said.  “However, Intelligent Design cannot explain Michele Bachmann.”
But Dr. Logsdon added that Rep. Bachmann remains an attractive candidate, especially for those Republican voters who find former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin “too cerebral.”
“When Sarah Palin looks at Michele Bachmann, she must feel the way the Jonas Brothers feel about Justin Bieber,” he said.
In other political news, GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich said today that “marriage must be defined as the union between a man, a woman, and the man’s staff member at the time.”


Montana said...

All hail to Astroturf TeaBparty Queen (ATQ), Michele Bachmann. Isn’t she the one that who rails against the Federal Government while every year she benefits from farm subsidies and adopts kids to work them on same farm. Oh yeah she is also a self-proclaimed historian on the US Founding Fathers and US history. The sad truth she will lie to get her way, what honor is there in that? But if you manipulate our US history and double down when you are found out, well don’t go crying to Fake News when you lose. Kind of like the Former half-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the "Bitter Quitter" (Most recent quitter of her Bus Tour to restore America). We remember what happen when after “W” manipulate Florida (w/ the help of brother Jebb) to win the presidency and his failure to win any of the two wars he started that devastated our treasury and ruined our economy for the next 50 years. If the GOP thinks that Michele Bachmann is the answer, good luck with that. After her “John Wayne” mishap and Tom Petty, calling her a thief, well you know, same old Bachmann, you have a winner GOP.

Silk Hope said...

Well at least Blago got a 17 count defeat. My believe right now is that if you run for office you are pure D stupid! Just think if Bachmann ran with Biden. We would have the Killer B's.

Sorry laughing at my own joke. SnL ought to do one on this.

Mr. Hope

Gunnar Berg said...

Ms Bachmann has been amazingly inconsistent. That's okay, they all are. She doesn't wear well, she won't be the candidate anyway.

Anonymous said...

I do not think of myself as an elitist, but I am starting to think we need some sort of minimum mental aptitude exam for public office. I mean, I think Palin's question about reading a newspaper, for instance--that should've automatically disqualified her from even speaking in public.

As a nation, we seem to be amusing ourselves by empowering attractive retards to represent us. Someday we might find out who the joke's really on.


Gunnar Berg said...

I've been watchin' Bachmann for a while. Michelle is wacky, she ain't dumb.

Anonymous said...

ok fine then she's got my vote. we can certainly use more wackiness from the head of the world's greatest and by far most heavily armed superpower


Gunnar Berg said...

Oh for God Jeez, don't you dare vote for her. That's all we need is a person on the trigger who thinks God is speaking to her.

Mimbres Man said...

Did you read the Rolling Stone piece on her? She's definitely scary.

If she somehow got the nomination and won...I shutter at the thought.

Gunnar Berg said...

I read it. It just confirmed what I already knew.